12.15.2009

Monologue of Nov 15



Hey,


I did this for you.
I want you to feel guilty, I want you to agonize over this forever.


I'm going to call you after this, and you're not going to pick up. I know. I already do.


And then it'll be all over, and that would've been your last shot at redemption. Too late now, there's no escaping me!


It's already over.
Once you realize, I know it will consume, and I covet the thought. With relish. I cherish. 
Oh, what sweet, tantalizing joy it brings me even to think it!
My body, lying there. 
The bewitching beauty of my soulless self.
And the blood! So much, so immense you could bathe in it.
Oh! My pride surges with just the thought!
The majesty.
The glory.
  


I can't wait.
I only hope you get a glimpse of me before I'm black-bagged. Oh, what horror! What delight. You're going to feel so responsible, it kills me!


Oh, baby... I don't care if there's a Hell where I'm headed. I don't even think about damnation. It's all worth it.


Just to embed my existence within you.
I'll live on forever, this way, inside you.



My memory will consume you quicker than any transient manifestations ever could.  And it won't matter whether you want it or not! It's there! My blood. We share. Drown in it. 


I'll drive you mad. With your own guilt. 


You'd better feel guilty!


Blame yourself, because it's all for you. 



I love you.


Good bye.




3 comments:

  1. I love how you performed this. Have you ever heard "All art is performative and all performance is art"?

    ReplyDelete
  2. No! Is it a song?
    And thank you. I forgot to thank you for coming to my show!
    My friend is writing a bitter romance between fraternal twins, she said I'd be cast as the lead if it gets staged!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's just a saying, I forget from where. And no need to thank me, thank you for coming to mine!

    And good for you. I would love to see it.

    ReplyDelete

Yes?

My photo
I'd say I'm too attatched to ever be ironic. I'm too ignorant to be influential. Too distracted to finish. I'm working on it.

I am a Dream

And right now it is all very foggy, and if I were outside I wouldn't find my way back in. But I think I might not have ever been there in the first place.