I woke up today. I sat on my toes and I cried in short, 30 second bursts for maybe 20 minutes... I wanted to sob aloud so badly, but I held it in. Hard. So hard my entire body shook, convulsing like yesterday when I was under-dressed and it was 10:00 pm and 23° outside. I'd cry and get up and wipe my cheeks and my nose and breath deeply. I tried really hard to calm down, because I felt afraid.
Ahhh, this sounds sad, but, I realized it's hopeless. My feelings are hopeless. I'm always going to feel this way no matter what... Nobody will change just by me willing it... And I don't say that bitterly- only with a bit of sadness.
Yes?
- Ren D Santi
- I'd say I'm too attatched to ever be ironic. I'm too ignorant to be influential. Too distracted to finish. I'm working on it.
Reality is a crack,
ReplyDeletetears are a most proper reaction.
You are acting within your bounds,
no need to wish for them to expand,
as so do your problems, responsibilities
and obligations.
Not to be redundant,
but doing what you can, is all you can do.
I was going to be embarrassed, but your words are really comforting. I'm smiling now, that's what matters!
ReplyDeleteI can only offer logical comfort,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it makes a difference.
I could tell you quite a few embarrassing things... next time.
Ahaha thank you!
ReplyDeleteReally, I look forward to it.